ok so its time for an update!
YAY! not really lol
well, i spent 3 months in Australia, living with my love, AMAZING, it was fun, exciting, all of that good stuff.
i am in love with Nathan, im in love with his every being. just seeing his face, my mind goes nuts. ive never felt this way about anyone. i could say the usual, you know, the "he makes me melt when he says my name" "the world stands still when he kisses me" "he is my world"
but. it goes beyond that for me. he is bigger than my world. he is more than just my everything.The typical saying is "ive found ""the one""."
well no. ha. he isnt JUST the one. its unexplainable i mean. its hard to see how so many people get married, and a few years down the road, have a kid and get divorced. If you marry someone, you are supposed to love them always, good and bad.one of my fav quotes,
yes another Juno one

Mac MacGuff - "In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

haha well with Nathan, im an effing ray of sunshine, that pukes rainbows and shits butterfly's on the surface of the sun.
now im not saying that we are perfect that we never argue. We do. we have had a few, but who doesnt. even friends argue.
i spent 3 months there. and at times, i want him to stay here for a while. In a way i believe it is only fair. when i say i want him here, he reply's with "yeah me too, or you here would be better" it kind of idk. makes me wonder.i mean. its hard,because well this is my home land wise, and i understand, he wants me where his home is. where he is familiar with the territory. I dont think he understands the whole thing. its one thing to move from town to town, or state even.
but its another to live in another country, where you know no one, and the only people you will know aside from that one person, are the persons A. Family or B. his friends.
so i was thrown into this thing.
and dont get me wrong. i knew what i was getting into. i knew that i was going to be an outcast. but it just hit me harder thank i expected.
i just, idk. i kinda want him to understand it better, i mean. i cant explain what im tryin to say.

ok. so aside from that. being home is ok. Glad i got to see matt and meet some new peoples. well one new person really. shes cool. her name is taylor. she doesnt talk much....but maybe she will open up.
i dont have alot of friends. not many real ones anyway.
my definition of a real friend is the following:
a person or persons, who generally care enough about you to ask how you are, who try to keep in touch, no matter the distance

nathan. well bahhahahahah he goes beyond that cause, he loves me.
Matt, well YAY lol hes been there for me and i for him. best of friends.
so thats about it. i dont have many other peoples thats not fam that does that.
ok im done. hahahahhahah
love you all


I MISS THE ACOUSTIC ROOM :'(
Matt i know a song we should do. its called soda shop. by Jay Brannan..........PLEASEEE ill sing and find you the tabs. its REALLY easy to learn from what i hear. wayyy easier than wish you were here

ok. before any of you read this. it is NOT REAL.
it consist of my boredom. and situations friends are in
so.
i ask of you
DO NOT READ INTO THIS TO MUCH

Chapter 1 -- The Dream

As she walks into the room she cant help but feel this gloom drown her.
Slowly makeing her way thought the hall she fights back the tears and fears.
"hey you ok baby?? whats wrong?" Jake says as he walks down the hall to the kitchen.
"its nothing, im ok. dont worry" kally replys, attempting to put on her best face.
"well it doesnt look or sound like nothing. you suck at fakeing it" - Jake

Kally walks to her room, passing Jake and throws herself onto the bed, piling her face into the pillows.
As Jake follows her, he begins to wonder what has happened to make her seem this way.
He has never felt her pain like this before.
"Kally, c'mon. im your best friend, you know you can talk to me about anything and everything. now im worried tell me whats up" - Jake

"its just, everything was shit today, and i dont have anyone left... no one wants me that way anymore. he left me Jake... said that i wasnt the one.. that he found her. but how could that be?" - Kally

"hunny, *sigh* i wish i could find someone perfect for you, you keep picking all these asshole losers."

"i cant help who i fall for. it just happens. and like i loved him so much but.idk i guess i knew he wasnt the one, cause ive had my eye on someone else this whole time. but he hasnt noticed me at all" -Kally

"well, who is it hun? maybe i could get you and this mystery guy together, and you can be happy again" - Jake

Kally rolls over off the pillow, and whipes the tears from her eyes, catching her breath she simply looks at him and says :
"i cant tell you. because i know he would never like me and i just give up"

"well im going to make dinner, so you cheer up clean up and join me." -Jake

Jake walks down the hall, and begins preparing dinner while Kally slowly drifts off to sleep.
Kally dreams of times when she was happiest, and her sectrete love.
---in dream-
Jake, whats wrong with me. why cant i do the things i want and just make someone happy?"""
"""sweetheart, its nothing to do with you, no one can see you like i do. like we do, stop worring so much its all going to be ok, im here now baby."
"Jake dont go, no stay here with me"
Jake gets pulled away and drifts off into the flames, slowly dying in the abyss.

Jake hears her screaming in her sleep and rushes to wake her, and to his suprise, shes wide away by now, acting as if nothing happened.
-worried look on jakes face--
"well its time for dinner, we're having some chicken soup, and a nice steak to go with it"

Kally fixes her hair, and slowly walks to the kitchen, seating herself at the table and just stairs at the food.

"Kally, are you going to eat? if not its ok ill wrap it up and put it away for now"

"no no its ok, ill eat i just need a min to process and make myself hungry again. its been a long day"


END CHAPTER 1